Why do I always do this to myself?

I get home from working the weekend and surf blogs and find the most heart-breaking stories which I spend hours crying over until I finally go to bed at 3 am.  And then Gaga wakes me up at 7:30 am and I groan...

Usually I find blogs about sweet little babies with leukemia or other horrible diseases that no child should have to deal with.  But tonight, I was searching foodgawker and wondered why there were so many peanut butter pie recipes.  Upon searching a few blogs, I found out about a woman named Jennie who had lost her husband, Mikey last Friday to a sudden heart attack.  Jennie somehow managed to write a blog asking readers to make a "Creamy Peanut Butter Pie" in his honor that day since she would never be able to make it for him again.  I sat there with tears streaming down my face thinking of my sweet loves and how devastated I would be to lose them. 

How I complain that no laundry was done while I was at work...and yet, he gave Lily a bath tonight and told me all about how they danced and snuggled together.

How they were loud Sunday morning when I was trying to sleep...but woke me up with kisses and excitement over watching the movie "Tangled." 

All of the silly things people stress about don't really matter.  What matters is showing your child how amazing the world is and showing your husband that you love him more than anything else.  Even chocolate.  :)

I have read stories about 4 month old children undergoing chemotherapy and think, "How can I possibly justify complaining about the Homeowner's Association when this sweet baby is getting port-a-caths implanted and bone marrow biopsies done?"  It's just ridiculous to even compare.

So here I sit.  2 am and feeling so blessed to have a job that was not that hard this weekend.  I had several patients who made me laugh out loud and coworkers whom I love. 

I have a beautiful daughter who is so smart and so adorably quirky and who makes me laugh constantly. 

And I have a man whom I have loved since I was 16.  Who told me he loved me after 3 weeks of dating and who talked about marriage after a mere 3 months of dating.  Who cried with me as I walked down the aisle to marry him and said a happy "Oh My!" when I told him I was pregnant.  Who thanks me almost daily for raising our daughter and cooking him a wonderful dinner.  And who rubs my back in the morning before he gets out of bed. 

I love you Lillian Grace and David Christopher. 
You are what is important.